In college-level psychology courses, one of the fun things you get to do is train mice. In addition to being easy, training mice helps you learn a lot about behavior generally and rewards and punishments specifically.

Someone should write a book on training mice for kids. It’s simple. An 8 year old that can learn it.                                                      

For example, we can create a maze and put Miss Mouse at the entrance. Let’s say we want to teach her to always go right as the first move when entering a maze.  We’ll reward her when she goes right. If she goes left, there is no reward, we pick her up and start over.  Eventually we would expect Miss Mouse to always start out going to the right. That’s where the rewards are.

In the field of “Game Theory,” we can model learning without touching mice or spending money on cheese.  In the example above, we divide the mouse’s behavior into two categories: Go Right and Go Left.

Now let’s say that a basic store-bought, untrained mouse is equally likely to go left or right. So the probability left = 50% and the probability right = 50%.  Let’s also say that each reward will increase the probability of repeating the rewarded activate by 10%.

Here’s how the mouse learns: Chance of going right = 50%.

Event 1:	Mouse goes left	No reward	Chance of Going Right 50%
Event 2:	Mouse goes right	Eats cheese	55% (50 X 110%)
Event 3:	Mouse goes right	Eats cheese	60.5% (55 X 110%)
Event 4:	Mouse goes left	No reward	60.5% (no change)
Event 5:	Mouse goes right	Eats cheese	66.5% (60.5 X 110%)
Event 6:	Mouse goes left	No reward	66.5% (no change)
Event 7:	Mouse goes left	No reward	66.5% (no change)
Event 8:	Mouse goes right	Eats cheese	73.2% (66.5 X 110%)
Event 9:	Mouse goes right	Eats cheese	80.5% (73.2 X 110%)
Event 10:	Mouse goes right	Eats cheese	88.6% (80.5 X 110%)
Event 11:	Mouse goes left	No reward	88.6% (no change)
Event 12:	Mouse goes right	Eats cheese	97.4% (88.6 X 110%)

In this example we see that after 12 trips into the maze, the mouse is likely to go right 97% at the time! Notice also that the mouse went the wrong way five times and the right way seven times.

All you home psychologists should know that the reward must be given right away.

Notice that rewarding the behavior you want has a dramatic impact on future behavior.

Stop.

Highlight That.

Rewarding the behavior you want

has a dramatic impact on future behavior.

Reward and believe:

That was fun, but we’re spending too much money on cheese. We can’t give a reward every time. The next experiment would be to give a reward with every second correct move rather than every time.

The result is that learning is a bit slower, but still quite dramatic.  After seven correct turns, the mouse is likely to go right almost 75% of the time.

So, we know that rewards work. What about punishment? Since we don’t want to physically harm our mouse, let’s say we stick to psychological damage. We’ll reward every second correct choice, but this time we’ll also have a mild punishment for incorrect choices. For punishment we’ll play ten seconds at Jethro Tull at very high volume. Again, the punishment must be administered right away to be effective.

Because this is a mild punishment, let’s say the effect is to decrease the chance at going left by 10%.

We start out with chance Right = 50% and chance Left = 50%

Event 1:	goes left	Punish	Chance of Going Left 45%	Chance of Going Right 55%
Event 2:	goes right	Reward	39.5%	60.5%
Event 3:	goes left	Punish	35.5%	64.5%
Event 4:	goes right	No Reward	35.5%	64.5%
Event 5:	goes right	Reward	29.1%	70.9%
Event 6:	goes left	Punish	26.2%	73.8%
Event 7:	goes right	No Reward	26.2%	73.8%
Event 8:	goes right	Reward	18.8%	81.2%
Event 9:	goes left	Punish	16.9%	83.1%
Event 10:	goes right	No Reward	16.9%	83.1%
Event 11:	goes right	Reward	8.6%	91.4%
Event 12:	goes left	Pushish	7.7%	92.3%

As you can see, you don’t need to give a reward every time, but a combination of rewards and mild punishments is very effective. You can also summarize from the math that greater rewards and greater punishment would result in more dramatic changes and behavior.

Some Words of Caution
In our example we use a mild punishment. Strong punishments are generally to be avoided. In addition to electrocuting our mouse, we want to avoid instilling too much fear.

Punishment works by increasing fear. A punishment that is too strong can leave the subject (e.g. Miss Mouse) nervous about making a wrong move. This can result in slow, cautious, halting behavior. See the note on consistency below.

You must also be careful with rewards. Once a behavior is learned you can cut the rewards way back. Even sporadic rewards can maintain a well learned behavior.

We won’t go through the math necessary to demonstrate diminishing motivation, but you should know that the chances of correct behavior will decrease as the time between rewards increases. Dropping all rewards altogether will have no immediate effect. However,  over time even well-learned behaviors will drift back to the probabilities we saw in the untrained mouse. One big reward all at once has almost no effect. If we give Miss Mouse a huge chunk of cheese the first time she goes right, but no rewards after that, she’ll think she just stumbled on some cheese. Smaller, regular rewards are much more effective.

The most important factor in using rewards and punishments is consistency. Close behind that is timeliness.

If you give a reward or punishment it must be administered immediately after the behavior. Think about training your dog: Doggie brings you the newspaper, goes outside for no apparent reason, comes back inside, gets a drink of water, then lies down to take a nap.

If you then praise the dog for bringing you the newspaper, he won’t connect the two. He will think he is being praised for lying down. It’s my personal theory that this is the reason dogs spend so much time lying down–they’re trying to make you happy.

Timeliness and consistency go hand in hand. You want to reward (or punish) behavior right away to have the greatest impact. Timeliness connects the reward (or punishment) to the behavior. Consistency provides reinforcement. If a mouse is rewarded sometimes for going left and sometimes for going right, she won’t see a connection between behavior and reward. Even worse, if she is punished sometimes for a left turn and sometimes for a right turn, she will avoid both behaviors.

Let’s go back to the lab for an illustration. The classic example of arbitrary rewards is the pigeon who gets fed a food pellet at random intervals. If the pigeon happens to be cleaning his wing when this happens, he might try cleaning his wing again to see if there’s another reward. And if there just happens to be a reward at the time he is cleaning his wing, he thinks he has learned a connection.

The same happens for scratching the floor, nodding his head, etc. With no connection between behavior and rewards, the pigeon will “learn” things that result in reward. So, after a few days we have a pigeon who spends all his time scratching and squawking and strutting around trying to “learn” a reward. Inconsistent, arbitrary rewards create and encourage a pattern of behavior, but not necessarily the behavior you want.

There is also the classic pigeon example of arbitrary punishment. When researchers randomly administer punishments, pigeons “learn” to avoid various behaviors. So, over time, we have a bird that doesn’t clean, doesn’t scratch, doesn’t walk in circles, doesn’t walk in a line. Eventually, the bird stands in one place afraid to take any action at all.

Inconsistent, arbitrary punishments lead to a fear of doing anything. You actually train the pigeon to do nothing.

In general, I believe rewards are a better teaching tool than punishments. Based on a worst case scenario of inconsistent, powerful rewards, you will have a subject who is constantly trying to do what it takes to get the reward. This subject is highly motivated and easily trained in the correct behavior: as you adopt a consistent reward procedure (even with small rewards), the subject will learn the new behavior quickly. And as rewards disappear for the old, arbitrary behavior, the old habits will fade away.

The worst-care scenario for inconsistent, powerful punishments is a subject who is paralyzed by fear. Adopting a consistent policy of rewards and punishments is very difficult in this case. First, you have to teach the subject that it’s okay to do something. There you have to coax it to overcome specific fears in order to try the behaviors that will now be rewarded.

As you can imagine, the quickest way to overcome fear and train new behavior in this case is with timely, frequent rewards; rewards powerful enough to overcome fear of punishment.

Does all of this really translate to human beings? Remember the mantra “Rewarding the behavior you want has a dramatic impact on future behavior.”

People absolutely respond to reward and punishment. If you don’t believe me, raise a child!

I am over-educated. I have used a few simple rules for raising my daughter.
1) No physical punishment.
2) She knows what the rules are.
3) She is consistently punished for incorrect behavior.
4) She is consistently rewarded for good behavior

I’m not perfect and my daughter is not perfect,* but my daughter knows she’s loved and she’s very well behaved.  She never begs for toys or candy at the store. I never go through the routine of some parents who say “no-no-no-no-no” until they finally say “yes, but this is the last time.”

Children are extremely smart. They are all naturally lawyers. They want to pick apart your answer for clarity and consistency. They compare the current answer to all past similar behavior. They are willing to negotiate and compromise until they get something out of the deal. It is very difficult in change a policy without a good reason. If you show any weakness, they’ll take advantage of it.

Children are also delightful to work with because humans are intelligent enough that we can talk about punishments and rewards and create punishments and rewards through the use of speech.

For example, you can create rewards by agreeing that a hug is a reward, or staying up on extra five minutes, or helping to cook the soup, or putting a gold star on the calendar.

The same is true of punishments. Sitting on the floor for five minutes is a punishment. In fact, this may be the most consistently successful punishment we’ve ever used. My  daughter was told that this is a punishment and it became one.

Okay, but what about adults?
Adults have one major disadvantage: they have experienced a wide variety of rewards and punishments that are outside your relationship with them. Thus, they’ve learned about a world of rewards and punishments that is completely unknown to you.

Punishing Adults Confused about punishment?  See Ken Blanchard’s The One Minute Manger series.  Full citations are in the left-hand column.

Very often we adults are a jumbled mess of mixed-up, inconsistent motivations and fears. This is great for psychologists but makes team management difficult.  Adults also have some advantages: they tend to be motivated to do well and they have excellent reasoning ability.

This reasoning ability gives us the power to lay out reward systems without a lot of “trial and error.” We can also agree before-hand on rewards and punishments. And, best of all, rewards do not have to consist of instant gratification.

So, rather than having to instantly reward people as we see the correct behavior, we can agree on incentive programs, weekly meetings, and quarterly reports.

Here are some guidelines . . . But, don’t forget what we’ve learned:

You should reward the behavior you want to encourage. You should punish behavior you wish to discourage. Agree on rewards and punishment Consistent small rewards are generally better thatn a single large reward. Consistent small punishments are more effective than large punishments. Rewards and punishments must be timely. With humans they do not have to be “immediate” but should be close to the behavior. Be honest, open, and consistent. Don’t promise a reward and fail to deliver.

Why rewards and punishment, don’t work.

If this is all so simple, why does it seem to not work in your business? Well, as with so many simple truths, we humans don’t have enough faith and we don’t follow the formula. We sabotage over own efforts.

In the Big Picture, a motivational program should work like this:
1) Set goals – short, intermediate, long.
2) Establish rewards and punishments
3) Evaluate performance
4) Administer rewards and punishments (consistently, fairly, honestly)

Repeat:
1) Revise goals periodically
2) Revise Rewards and Punishments periodically
3) Continue to Evaluate
4) Continue to administer

A simple 4-step process, repeated continuously. So why does it fail? It fails because we don’t do one or more of the steps. And 99% of the time, it’s the bosses fault. His excuse is usually “I don’t have enough time.” Goals are not set.

As a result, there is no structure for success. The manager doesn’t have time to tell people what she wants. So they do what they think they should do, whether its what the boss wants or not. In fact, the boss doesn’t even set her own goals.

Stop. Be your own boss for ten minutes.

What are three things you want to accomplish today?
What are three things you want to accomplish this week?

This Month?

Why don’t you take ten minutes every day to decide what’s important today?
Be honest, you do have time.

We . . . the vast majority of bosses and workers . . . don’t set goals. We don’t have a clear idea at what we’re going to do today that will help us advance toward the bigger goals.

Goal-setting should not be a huge scary task that requires retreat time or offsite meetings or long arguments.

Make a habit every day of jotting down your goals. Look at them everyday, and adjust them as needed. This ten-minute habit will change your life. It will bring focus.

The second reason motivational plans fail is lack of integrity. Bosses promise rewards and fail to deliver. Or they are inconsistent with rewards and punishments.

People learn very quickly and they remember negative experiences for a long time.

I have the great good fortune of seeing how different businesses operate. As a result I see motivational plans come and go. I also see successful reward structures that last for a long time.
Overwhelmingly, the lasting techniques are those that are:
1) Clearly understood by everyone.
2) Consistently followed–both rewards and punishments.
3) Perceived as fair.

I berate bosses for being stingy with rewards. Some bosses are even stingy with small rewards. Bosses are rarely stingy with punishments.  If you have a system of large rewards–such as $1000 bonuses or trips to Maui–you had better be prepared to pay up.

But don’t forget that small rewards can be even more powerful. Five weeks into the quarter, some people know they’re not going to win the trip. What’s their motivation?

With small rewards there is a flurry of activity around the rewards. People get regular feedback and compete to get their name in the “star performance” chart, or try to collect the most T-shirts, squeezy toys, pencils, or whatever.

Every day and every week they can see their success. And their success is visible to themselves and others. Finally, competitions evolve as people display these little rewards as measures of their success.

It is beyond my capacity to understand why a boss would be stingy in this process.  Remember that, as humans, we create a reward by agreeing that something is a reward. When we say, for example, that a company T-shirt is a reward, then it has become more than a T-shirt.

If someone meets the criteria, give him the T-shirt! Stinginess with a ten dollar piece of clothing can destroy your motivational program.

First, you lack integrity. If you’re not fair on this little thing, how can your employees trust you on larger things?

Second, you turn a “performer” into a disgruntled employee.

Third, this kind of stinginess will become widely known in very short order.

So you see, bosses can sabotage their own motivational programs when they are stingy.

These discussions of the behavioral sciences are not meant to replace a Bachelor’s Degree in psychology. I encourage you to learn more about rewards and punishments in the workplace.

As a worker, consider what motivates you and talk to your boss about it. But don’t start with $1000 reward and trips to Hawaii. Start with an examination of your daily and weekly activates. What would be an appropriate, small reward for reaching the next performance level each week?

If you’re a boss, consider the two or three basic “building blocks” of your success. What are the measures of your success? These could be increasing sales, productivity, or timeliness; or reducing mistakes, injuries, or sick days.

Find measurable indicators of your success. Begin measuring them and consider what kind of small rewards you can dole out each work for improved performance.

Then have the integrity to present the rewards as promised.

There are lots of good books on reward systems and building motivation in your workplace. You (workers and bosses) need to find a system that works for your job.

As usual, I encourage you to read lots of ideas on this topic and then come up with your own plan.

*Note: My daughter is perfect.

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There are two primary ways of looking at your life. Actually, either you look at your life or you don’t look at your life. Everyone does each of these some time. A few people examine their lives all the time. A few people never examine their lives.

But almost all of us are in the middle. We spend most of our time only thinking about our lives a little bit. Then from time to time we go through a stage of thinking about our lives obsessively. In other words, 80% of the time we think about our lives 20% of the time. And 20% of the time we think about our lives 80% of the time.

I have had two incidents recently that brought this into focus for me.

First, I have a great life coach named Jenifer Landers (see Fully Expressed Coaching). One of her constant themes is to leave an opening for something to happen. Leave an opening for someone to enter your life. Leave an opening for good things to occur. Leave an opening, leave an opening, leave an opening.

Then I hired two people in my business who have the profiles of really great leaders. And it didn’t take long before they were volunteering to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I heard lines like “Well, I can do that tonight. I have time available between 11 o’clock and midnight.”

The first thought that pops into my mind is . . . If you don’t leave an opening in your life for a personal life to show up, then it never will.

There is an assumption among many people that your personal life is the time that is left over after all the business and commitments are taken care of. But if you really want to have a personal life, you need to set aside time for it to happen. Whether it’s playing a sport, collecting something, or going out into the woods to have a good time, you need to put it on your schedule!

There are certain things in this world that expand to take up all the space available. Work can be like that if you don’t set boundaries around it. I try to leave work at 5:00 PM every day. I’m rarely there at 5:30. There is enough work to do. I could stay until midnight every night, work seven days a week, and never catch up.

And what would be the point of that? What would I have at the end of every day except another day just like the one completed? When I hear people say “I have no personal life” all I can think of is how they put themselves in that position. If you don’t make time for a personal life it certainly won’t show up on it’s own. Even if you don’t know what to do with yourself, that’s okay. Set aside the time and see what you want to do!

Workaholism kills.

Besides, you’re a much more interesting person when you have more than one dimension.

:-)

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I received this in a recent email from Brian Tracy:

Calvin Coolidge, a president who was so reluctant to speak in public that he was given the nickname of “Silent Cal,” will go down in history for his simple but memorable words on success. He wrote, “Press on. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

In other words . . . hang in there . . . stick to it . . . keep moving forward . . . Don’t give up.

Every successful person is persistent in pursuing a goal. Now that doesn’t mean that everyone who pursues a goal is going to be successful. But no one who gives up is successful.

Persistence is a necessary (but not sufficient) element for success.

These words really struck me because I’m a big believer in commitment. I don’t say I will do something until I’m ready to follow through. And I always try to project a time period that can be considered “giving it a fair shot.” In other words, if I try something new, I try to stick with it long enough to really see whether it will succeed or fail.

Many people say they’ll try something and then give up after one attempt. “I tried exercising but after a day my muscles were sore.” :-)

Persistence is one of the most difficult qualities to pursue. By definition it requires constant, relentless attention. How many times have I started an exercise regimen and then “something” happened and I got off my regimen? Recently I broke a toe. So five weeks later I’m getting back to walking. Still hurts. But I have to get back to it sometime!

When people are ready to give up they frequently say “I’ve tried everything” or “I tried so hard for so long.” But that’s usually not true. It feels that way, but it’s not true.

The normal pattern of effort for most things is a big push followed by a diminishing effort over time. So early on they put in a huge amount of effort – and they remember that. As their effort diminishes over time, they convince themselves that they are continuing to put out a high level of effort because they view their effort as cumulative.

Eventually they get to the point where they believe they’ve put out supreme effort “forever” when they’ve really put out almost no effort for a very long time.

Persistence means continuing to put out a higher level of effort. You may have heard the quote from Woody Allen: “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” There’s a lot of truth to that. But it’s not just showing up, looking around, and leaving. It’s showing up and putting in the effort. It’s really showing up ready to work.

One key element that helps me with persistence is to try a mental reset: I try to view things as current projects rather than one more step in a process that’s been going on for years. I’ve made a commitment and today I’m going to follow through. NOT: I tied this albatross around my neck and now I have to work at it again until it kills me.

Persistence is another one of those muscles of success: you exercise it a little all the time and it becomes a habit that propels you forward.

:-)

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I agreed to contribute an article to a work on Workaholism some time back. And then I forgot about it.

Well, yesterday I had the pleasant surprise of receiving a copy of the final printed book, Workaholism Perspectives and Experiences from Icfai University Press.

The book is about 190 pages and filled with great essays on Workaholism — Facts, perspectives, and some great tips on making positive changes in your life. I haven’t read most of it yet, but there are some great statistics about the effects of workaholism around the world.

Of course this is a key topic for me (that’s why it’s the topic of the second chapter of my book).

Workaholism can consume your life, your relationships, and your business. Then it affects all the people you live and work with as well as your customers. At the same time, it’s not particularly difficult to overcome. The hardest part about changing a workaholic lifestyle is deciding you want to.

There’s a certain comfort level in working hard all the time: fooling yourself that another hour will make a different; fooling yourself that there are extra rewards; fooling yourself that you’re doing it for the family; fooling yourself that no one can do this but you. Working really hard makes you feel good about yourself.

But some day something dramatic will happen.

And when it does, you’ll be faced with the stark reality that effort above a certain point counts for nothing, that your family values quality time more than an extra box of money, and that lots of people can do the work you feel you have to do.

When that day comes you will be overwhelmed with a sense of loss. Just like losing a loved one, you will have lost a piece of what defines you as a person. You’ll spend time figuring out how “reality” could be so different from what you believed it was. And you’ll work through it.

But working really hard still feels good. So you might cure yourself for awhile, but that doesn’t mean you’re cured forever. Part of it is still baked into who you are. Part of it is pushed on you by society. Part is pushed on you by your job. Etc.

Workaholism is a lot more than a personal choice made by one person who can un-make that choice. It is part of a complex series of structures and relationships that have evolved in modern society.

This book is a great start to recognizing and addressing the issues of workaholism — personally and as an organization. It’s also a good resource for work place counselors and HR pros.

As your bookstore to order ISBN #978-81-314-2469-8.

(Disclaimer: I wasn’t paid for the chapter I contributed to this book and I make no money on sales whatsoever.)

:-)

Workaholism

It’s finally here.The Promotion Monkey newsletter — Monkey Business — is finally here. Please sign up today.

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There’s an old movie most people have never heard of called The Big Combo.

In this movie, “Mr. Brown” is a big hoodlum. His motto is “First is first and second is nothing.”

Mr. Brown expresses that motto again and again and again. Until the time he’s shot dead.

Sometimes, our culture beats into us that the only place that matters is First. And, truth be told, a disproportion of the rewards go to the top 1%, 3%, and 5%.

But how you get there matters a lot, too. Look at the Olympics. On one hand you have the Chinese, who are openly cheating in Gymnastics. Every medal they win will be tarnished. Every award will have an asterisk.*

On the other hand, you have thousands of athletes who have working to get to the Olympics for at least four years, don’t cheat, and do deserve to win. Almost all medalists will have true gold, silver, and bronze medals. They will be real winners and deserve the reward they receive.

There Are Three Primary Elements of Success

What is success? In the big picture, success consists of determining what you want to do and then getting that done.

The first primary element of success is to have goals. Of course.

Specific, written, definable, measurable goals that you share with other people so they can hold you accountable.

The second primary element of success is the process of working to achieve your goals. What’s the process? It’s everything you do that’s remotely related to working on your goal. It’s how you live your life. It’s how you interact with others. It’s who you are as a human being in pursuit of what you want.

The third primary element of success is achieving your goal. This is the “finish line” if you will. This is when you reach $100,000 in salary, or $1 million in sales, or $10 million in sales. Whatever the goal.

The most important thing about the first element, setting goals, is that you have to do it. More than 90% of the people you meet have never consciously set goals, written them down, figured out how to measure them, and shared them with others. That means you get to be in the top ten percent by simply setting goals!

It’s true.

The most important part of the third element, reaching your goal, is that it becomes far less important once you get there.

For most big goals (e.g., reaching a big money amount or raising a child safely to adulthood), you can see the goal line approaching. $1 Million looks a lot easier from $900,000 than it does from $100,000. Age 18 looks a lot easier when your kid is 16 years old than when she’s 16 months old.

As your approach your goal, there comes a time when you know you can do it. As a result, your mind and heart begin thinking about the next level.

And the second element of success — that’s the most important thing in your life.

The second element of success is how you live your life every single day. It involves your integrity, your discipline, your willingness to help others, your honestly.

It is who you are every day.

And if your goal will take ten or twenty years to accomplish, then the second element is who you are over the decades.

When you look back on what it took to achieve your goals, how many asterisks will there be? Who will you have to deceive, cheat, and abuse?

I absolutely believe that you don’t have to do any of those things to get ahead.

After all, you have the rest of your life. Take your time and do it the right way.

Your goals are intimately intertwined with who you are and who you will become. Respect that. Don’t take shortcuts and don’t treat other people poorly.

There’s an old saying:

Remember the people you meet on your way up the ladder of success.
You’ll meet the same people on your way down.

So, first might be first, but second isn’t nothing. How you get to be first matters a lot. And if you come in second with your soul intact, that’s important, too.

- – - – -
* Cheater!

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After lo these many days . . . the Monkey stirs.

I am proud to announce that Promotion Monkey memberships will be available September 1st, 2008.

This is not a technology-focused adventure.

If you promote anything on the Internet, then you should give the Promotion Monkey a whirl.

Please check it out at PromotionMonkey.com

Thank You.

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Have you heard the term “lifestyle business?” I’ve heard this used a lot in the last few months.

At a conference, someone will ask how many have 2-10 employees, 11-20, 20 or more. Then, invariably, the speaker will say “Oh, how many have a lifestyle business? Nothing wrong with that.”

A lifestyle business is one designed to support the founder (or founders, if a couple) and generate enough money for that person (or couple) to live well, but never plan to “grow” in size.

Lifestyle businesses support the owner in a particular lifestyle and never plan to be 50- or 100-person companies, let alone mega global conglomerates.

So, it’s a nice fluffy term that gets used for people who are happy being one-person shops.

But the two are not the same. A Sole Proprietor or one-person shop is more likely to be struggling to get by than to be supporting a desired lifestyle.

Most of the one-person business owners I talk to fit a profile something like this:

- They work until 10 or 11 every night.

- They either work or are on call all weekend.

- They take client calls at home.

- They rarely take vacations.

- They can’t grow much because they’re afraid of what will happen when some thing goes wrong with more than one client at once.

- They don’t have time (or inclination) to take classes or tests for professional development.

- They want more money, but they are trading hours for dollars and there’s a limit to how much money they can make.

What kind of lifestyle is that? That’s the manic behavior of a 20-something that became a way of life. Now at 40-something or 50-something it’s hard work and getting harder to stay motivated.

If a sole proprietor makes, roughly, $100,000 profit in a year, that same S.P. should be buying a house and socking away at least $10,000 a year in savings.

This extremely simple formula (make your house payments, put money into investments) will invariably result in a high net worth and a comfortable retirement.

But when I talk to some people who are S.P.’s, they are barely getting by, spending every nickel they make, and doing nothing for their own future.

With luck, you’re in the first category and not the second.

But the next time you’re in a room full of business owners and the only category you fit into is “lifestyle business,” ask yourself if you’re leading the lifestyle you want.

And if you’re not, change it!

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If you haven’t read the book Silas Marner by George Eliot, check it out. It’s a good Summer read.

The title character is well known for sitting alone in his house, with the windows shuttered, and counting his gold. Night after night Silas Marner counted his gold.

When we read that part of the book, our mind naturally thinks about an old man hunched over his table, counting his money night after night. In fact, Silas doesn’t know that he has many years ahead of him.

As with any good novel, the book has intrigue, crime, emotions run amok, love, and redemption. Silas will lose his fortune, but have his soul reborn due to the love of an abandoned child.

When we employ the imagery of Silas Marner, it’s of someone who has become obsessed with counting their gold. They define success as wealth. And so they isolate themselves from others, afraid of getting too close, concerned that everyone is after their share of the money.

Unfortunately, we have modern equivalents to Silas in the business world today.

Some people, as they become successful in business, also become so obsessed with this distorted view of “wealth” that they close themselves off from their family, their friends, and (in the business world) their clients and employees. They look at their accomplishments and somehow conclude that they got their on their own.

When this happens, they begin to act as if they’re at the end of the story. That there’s nothing left to do but count their gold. But unless they’re on their deathbed, it’s not the end. If you achieve financial success at middle age, you have many years, and many adventures ahead.

In the real world, these folks begin alienating those who would be their friends. They treat every relationship and every interaction as if it were about money. Sometimes business is about money. But when business is only about money, it is very dissatisfying.

I’ve known people who became “successful” in this regard and who changed from being fun to being bitter and alienated. Their children don’t want to spend time with them; their employees can’t stand them and have zero loyalty; and their clients and vendors just seem to go somewhere else one at a time.

In the novel, Silas learns his lessons, re-joins the community, raises a child, and learns that love and human society are more important than gold. In the “real world” I’m afraid that doesn’t happen so much. In the real world, people tend to reinforce their view of the world as they interpret each new experience as reinforcing their old beliefs.

So, what can we do? First, we can try very hard not to let ourselves become like Silas. Success does not equal money. Money is not the measure of success.

Second, we can be a true friend and tell people when they’re heading down this road. That also means sticking in there when they go through a Silas Marner period in their lives. This is tougher than it sounds. Because that period can leave our friend very bitter and unpleasant to be around. We have to be careful not to get sucked into this view of the world.

Third, we can choose to back off. This is hard to do. And it doesn’t sound like being a friend, but if it’s clear that we can’t help, it is sometimes best to isolate ourselves from the negativity.

True success means finding the things that bring meaning and value into your life. It is highly unlikely that that will include surrounding yourself with bitter, angry people, or a pot of gold.

So, finally, the best you can do is to pray for your friend. Whatever other action you take, that’s the one thing that will do some good. And, with luck, they’ll learn to focus on the more positive things in life.

Over the years, in my business life, I’ve dropped a couple of Silas Marner clients. In the business world I can simply choose not to do business with them.

 It’s harder when a friend goes down that road.

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One of the newsletters I subscribe to is Perry Marshall’s (www.perrymarshall.com). His specialty is Google AdWords, Guerilla Marketing, and other misc. marketing techniques.

Recently, he told the story of an email he recieved. A man wrote to him and said, basically, “I need to make $5,000 real fast.” He promised to buy a $50 book if Perry thought he could make $5,000 real quick.

Whatever, dude.

Perry’s response: “Sorry . . . can’t help you. If you want to spend your life wandering the ghettos of the Internet, be my guest. But don’t blame me if you get stabbed by a heroin addict.”

—–

Wait. Doesn’t Perry promise great results? Yes. Of course he does.

But the guy wants a two-step process: Buy book, make $5,000. Or maybe a three-step process: Buy book, place ads, make $5,000.

What’s missing? WORK! And a product or service. In other words, there needs to be a meaningful, valuable product. Otherwise, you’re just working on some scam to take peoples’ money and give nothing in return.

Make money stuffing envelopes — telling people how to make money (stuffing envelopes).

It is sad, but there really are people out there who want to invest some tiny bit of money and make a fortune with little or no work on their part. These are the people who want to take a pill to lose weight, and who buy hair in a spray can.

I’m a big believer that people work too much and accomplish too little because they lack focus on what’s important, what their goals are, and where to find their chosen path.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in hard work. Any goal worth achieving is worth working hard for.

Whenever the news is filled with stories of people getting ripped off by some flim-flammery, I hear people saying “Tsk. Tsk. How could anyone fall for that?” The answer is simple:

There’s a human tendency to want to get something for nothing. Most people learn that that’s not true. But most of them are still tempted. Over and over we hear the addage “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”

The internet is probably everyone’s favorite productivity tool. But it is also a tool that breaths new life into old get-rich-quick schemes. Now, instead of trying to rip off one person at a time, you can attempt to rip off millions.

And some people take it even a step further: They go looking for get-rich-quick schemes. They look for ways to make a quick buck with no work and almost no investment.

In other words, as Perry says, they troll the ghettos of the Internet. And, yes, the inevitable result is that one day they will be ripped off by their own greed.

It is much better to take all that effort and put it into creating a real product, a real service, and working hard to make your dreams come true.

For a related article, see The Fred Flintstone-Ralph Cramden School Of Success.

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