RFS Blog | by Karl W. Palachuk – Relax Focus Succeed. Learn more at www.relaxfocussucceed.com

CAT | Beliefs

Very often we use the analogy of paths and destinations as if they’re tied together. You know, “You can’t reach your destination if you’re not on the right path.”

Well that’s just not true.

Trying to walk someone else's path to your goals can never bring success or happiness.

Trying to walk someone else’s path to your goals can never bring success or happiness.

Trying to walk someone else’s path to your goals can never bring success or happiness.

Trying to walk someone else’s path to your goals can never bring success or happiness.

First, the world is a big round ball. So you can go around in any direction and eventually get where you’re going. Second, we get to choose how we travel. Some people never travel by air. They choose trains, boats, and cars instead. Their experience is different but their destination can be the same.

Third, we all have experience with GPS (global position satellites) these days. We can set the device for foot travel, bicycle travel, car travel, or mass transit. In “car” mode we can choose to avoid toll roads or even avoid freeways altogether.

We have the same freedom in choosing the path to our personal success and fulfillment. Often, the advice we hear sounds as if there’s only one path to success: Work your butt off. In fact, recently there’s been a backlash against the advice to lead a balanced life. Some people literally advise you to work yourself at a heart-attack pace until you achieve what you want. Then you can have balance when you get old.

Of course you may never get there (to be successful or old).

I work a lot with technology consultants. I help them develop successful business processes and habits. I’m always amazed at how many ways there are to implement this advice – or ignore it altogether and be successful anyway.

Remember: Success is achieving YOUR goals – not someone else’s goals. Not society’s goals for you. Your goals for you.

A huge piece of that is maximizing what you enjoy. The least interesting goals are money related. Yes, you need money. Yes, you need to save for retirement. But you also need to live for today and find joy and fulfillment in your work and in your play.

So don’t worry about being off the path, or being on the wrong path. Create your own path. Figure out how YOU want to reach your goals. Trying to walk someone else’s path to your goals can never bring success or happiness.

:-)

No tags

Sep/15

13

Suffocate Your Fear with Love and Attention

We all experience fear. It keeps us from moving ahead. It even keeps us from improving our lives, improving our business, and improving our relationships. Probably 99% of our fears will never come true.

WorryHere’s a plan to kill your fears – with a technique you probably never considered. First, identify your fears. The easiest fears to identify are the ones that keep us from making changes we know we should make. Whenever you find yourself saying “I know I should . . .” – that’s a fear in disguise. Why aren’t you doing the thing you know you should? Fear of rejection, fear of losing money, fear of making the wrong decision, fear of looking stupid. Fear of something else?

Second, pick one one fear (the biggest) and write down all the things that will be possible when this fear is gone. For example, you’ll know how someone really feels. You’ll actually make more money. You’ll be able to move to the next level. You’l stop wasting time and move ahead. And so forth.

Third, embrace your fear – mentally. Here’s what I mean. Set aside 30 minutes to analyze your fear. Where did it come from? Who influenced it? How big is it? How long have you had it? What are its limits? How far does it extend? In other words, examine every detail you can think of – and write these down.

The next day, take 15 minutes to analyze this same fear. If it’s true, What’s the worst that can happen? Have you seen this happen to someone else? What was the outcome? What’s the most likely outcome (compared to the worst)? How bad would that be? And so forth.

Continue this practice for 15 minutes every day. Two things will happen. First, you will suffocate the fear by giving it too much attention. You will analyze every detail until you’re bored with it!. You’ll be comfortable with it. You’ll know its boundaries and its strength. And you’ll eventually stop identifying it as a fear. It will simply be a “possibility” instead of a fear.

The second thing that will happen when you sit down for your daily 15 minute dose of facing your fear is that you will literally put it in its place. Its place is that 15 minute slot. That’s where it gets Attention: Not the rest of your days or nights.

I was involved in a wonderful exercise at a recent professional conference. The publisher of an industry magazine was examining an article they’d published seven years before. The goal was to provide an introspective look at how well they’d done at predicting the future.

As they went through each prediction, the same theme came up over and over: We worried about the wrong things. The big challenges we identified turned out to be minor bumps in the road. And the major events that affected the whole industry were completely unexpected.

This same pattern is true in our personal lives. We worry a lot about stuff that never happens. And we don’t worry at all about the things that end up being the most important in hindsight.

If fears keep you from advancing, I recommend you create a worry journal. For every big fear that holds you back, spend time analyzing it until you’ve analyzed it to death – literally.

Most fear is not based in true observations or experiences. It’s just our busy minds speculating about possibilities. But what we tend to do is to try to NOT think about the fear. So it pops up and we push it aside. We look for something else to do, something else to think about. In other words, we never fully examine the fear and put it in its place.

Try it. Post your results here.

:-)

No tags

One of the emerging trends in the U.S. is unplugging. As we become more connected to our technology every day, the need to uplug becomes greater.

In fact, unplugging has become popular enough to have its own day. National Day of Unplugging was March 6th of this year. The day was started by a group called Reboot.

And now, Jenifer Novak Landers – life coach, author, and entrepreneur – has developed a stylish way to unplug at home or at the office. She is creating a line call Unpluggables and raising starter funds through an Indiegogo campaign. See https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/unpluggables.

Unpluggable Indiegogo campaign

Why Unplug?

There are three primary reasons we all need to unplug. They are personal, social, and business.

More and more, research is showing that our constant use of technology is harmful to our bodies and brains in several ways. This is particularly true with cell phones, which have become the all-in-one entertainment center of choice. We’re beginning to see research that supports much of what we already suspect: Cell phone addiction can have negative impacts on our lives – both physicially and psychologically.

For a place to start looking at the research, see https://student.societyforscience.org/article/watch-out-cell-phones-can-be-addictive – or just Google “cell phone addiction” for other links.

On a personal level, over-use of mobile gadgets could be stimulating your brain in harmful ways. On a much more personal level, we all need to take time to relax, disconnect from others, and fully appreciate ourselves and our lives. We need to stop communicating with the outside world and spend more time in reflection. That’s a fundamental precept of my Relax Focus Succeed® philosophy.

On the social level, we all know that “devices” are bad for family communications. Kids won’t put them down. Sometimes adults won’t put them down. Some people literally cannot go five minutes without checking their cell phones. Watch people on a date at a restaurant. Even those who avoid their cell phones whip them out the second their date gets up to use the restroom.

Jenifer tells the story, in her Unpluggables video, about putting a sign on her TV when her daughter was young. The sign read “Magic Happens” because magic happens when we turn off technology and spend time with each other. That was the original idea that became Unpluggables.

Basically, Unpluggables are stylish cases to put your phone into as an outward sign that you are choosing to set aside the technology and pay attention to the people in your life. My favorite design is the wedding set. Hers is white with a veil and his is a little tuxedo. Unplugged weddings have been around about five years. Other unplugged events are growing. For example, see An Unplugged Weekend: 7 Tips To Make It Happen.

Families need to unplug during meals. The Unpluggable line makes it easy to do this with a visible sign that people are choosing to spend time with each other.

On the business front, cell phones are often the cause of great frustration. Forbes recently posted an article entitled How To Get People Off Their Phones In Meetings Without Being A Jerk. And Entrepreneur magazine publishes articles like, Why Successful People Never Bring Smartphones Into Meetings.

Jenifer’s Unpluggables line will include sets that can be used at meetings, weddings, and other large gatherings. She’s even going to have decorated boxes that can be passed around at meetings, so folks can just give up the device for an hour.

 

Give and Get

Contribute to the Unpluggable CampaignPlease contribute to Jenifer’s Indiegogo campaign. She needs money to create designs, acquire materials, and find manufacturers for Unpluggables. If you contribute, you can get an Unpluggable or several other “perks.” You could even get a starter kit so you can become one of the first resellers for Unpluggables.

Please look at the campaign here.
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/unpluggables

Donate whatever you can afford.

At least two elements of Relax Focus Succeed® are easier when you unplug: Relax and Focus.

That’s why I’m supporting this awesome campaign.

 

:-)

No tags

Relax Focus Succeed

5-Week class starts July 28th.

Relax Focus Succeed®

Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives and Be More Successful in Both

Five Mondays – July 28 – Aug. 25, 2014

Registration includes a copy of the book Relax Focus Succeed® by Karl W. Palachuk.

Save $50 right now with code RFSClass

Register now: Only $199 – $50 with code RFSClass to bring this price to only $149

 

DESCRIPTION:

This course will show you how to master the concepts of Relax Focus Succeed® – a program for balancing your personal and professional lives and finding more success in both.

This course is intended for anyone who is stressed out, over-worked, and ready to take their whole life to the next level. We all lead busy lives, filled with too many demands. Many of us don’t get enough sleep or exercise. We fight to be successful at work and at home.

Taught by someone who’s been there. Karl Palachuk was diagnosed with debilitating Rheumatoid Arthritis at age 39 and spent several years getting the disease under control. With two businesses to managed and a young family, he found himself unable to work more than a few hours a day. That’s when he developed a process for achieving goals at a very high level without working himself to death.

Many of us chase the entrepreneurial dream – but few of us reach our entrepreneurial vision.

This is an intensive teleseminar course over a five week period. All assignments are voluntary, of course. But if you want feedback on assignments, please complete assignments during this course and email them to the instructor.

Topics to be presented include:

  • Balance your personal and professional lives
  • Focus on the single most important things in your life
  • Develop your vision for self-fulfillment
  • Relax – in a meaningful way
  • Be the same person in all elements of your life (overcome Jekyll/Hyde syndrome)
  • Put the past – and your present – in their place
  • Build your muscles of success
  • Stop working 50- or 60- or 70-hour weeks
  • Avoid being interrupt-driven
  • Slow Down, Get More Done
  • Work less and accomplish more
  • Define Goals: Long-term, Medium-term, and Short-term
  • Build quiet time into your life

The course will include a number of recommended do-it-yourself exercises.

Save $50 right now with code RFSClass

Register now: Only $199

Enter code RFSClass to bring this price to only $149

 

No tags

Jun/14

5

Who Needs a Blanket?

Some time ago I saw a reprinted Peanuts cartoon in the newspaper. One of the kids asks “What do you do when you feel that life is treating you unfairly?” Snoopy responds “Learn to bake your own cookies.”

There’s a lot of truth in that. After all, what are cookies except the ultimate comfort food? When we were kids, we learned to comfort ourselves with a blanket. We all need engaging and distracting activities to keep our lives balanced. As grown-ups we need to find our own blankets (or blanket substitutes).

baby blanketWhen we take the time to stop and consider it, life is a continuing series of actions and reactions, constantly intertwining and affecting each other. When we don’t stop to think about it–when we let the events of life begin to overwhelm us–we begin to view things as “me against the world.”

When we start down that path, we begin to see life as a series of events that happen to us rather than a set of things we can influence and control.

When the world comes crushing down (when life treats you unfairly), the solution is a little perspective. Taking time to bake cookies might be just what you need. Or gardening, or reading, or any other “puttering” activity.

When you pick an activity, remember that it must be engaging and distracting. It should be something that keeps you from focusing on the problems and worries of life. Doing one kind of work to keep yourself from focusing on another kind of work is not the answer. You need to do non-work in order to keep yourself from focusing on any work.

It’s fine if your work is also your hobby. You’re lucky if that’s the case. But you still need something else to do to when the worries of work start to grow too large.

Exercise is a great distraction. Running, bicycling, lifting weights, aerobics, swimming, or whatever you enjoy. In addition to helping you get some perspective on life, it will help you live longer! Even non-aerobic exercise is proving to be extremely beneficial for your health. You don’t have to be a world-class athlete to get benefits from exercise. You just have to do something.

And let’s not forget the final element of baking cookies (or whatever distraction you choose): comforting yourself. If you hang around new parents you may hear them discussing whether a child has discovered a way to “comfort himself.” Very often this means thumb-sucking or some other very simple activity.

When a baby learns to comfort himself, then he can calm himself and go back to sleep after being startled or waking up and realizing that he’s alone. This is a wonderful skill. Unfortunately, many of us seem to have lost the skill of comforting ourselves as we get older. Sometimes we just never try. We ignore or avoid uncomfortable situations.

At other times we simply react to the situation at hand without thinking about it. We’re frustrated, so we respond with frustration. We think the service is bad and we respond with anger. Traffic is tied up and we respond with rage.

The traits of self control and “think before you speak” seem to have been lost by modern society. We’re always going and never stopping. We need to give ourselves that minute to think.

We need to feel comfortable slowing down and taking in life.

We need to slow down just enough to process things and decide how to react. That way we participate in life rather than merely react to it. Slowing down and processing events are habits that need to be cultivated.

Start today. Take a few minutes to spend quiet time thinking about how you react to the world–especially when you feel a great deal of pressure. Do you react the way you’d like to? If not, why not?

Work slowly. Don’t worry. You don’t need to be perfect (soon or ever). But the process of working on yourself automatically makes you happier and more in control. It’s like making your own cookies.

No tags

One of the exercises I go through with people during my seminars is to think back five years or ten years. Let’s pick a nice round number, like 2005. That’s seven, almost eight years ago.

ChangeWhere did you live?
Was it the same house?
Did you drive a different car?
Did you go to work at a different place?
Did you hang out with different friends?
Has your personal (love) relationship changed?
How old were your kids? What grade?
What was your biggest spare-time activity?
What was your favorite TV Show? Song?
What kind of phone did you have?
Did you have pets? The same pets as today?
Did you go to the same religious services?
What was your favorite restaurant?
Where did you go on vacation?

Please take a minute and really think about that. It is completely possible for everything in your life to be different in the next seven years. Everything. You could live in a different place, work at a different office, drive a different car, have different friends, be in a different relationship, etc.

Some things just will change no matter what you do. You’ll be seven years older. Your children will be seven years older. You know you won’t have the same phone or computer! You’ll probably have different pets, a different car, different hobbies, and vacation in a different place.

The lesson is: Lots of change is going to happen in a very short period of time.

And the important thing is, most of that change will take place whether you LET it happen or MAKE it happen. Your intentions have a huge role to play in creating your new future. You can plan almost everything on that list. Your age . . . well that’s just going to be what it’s going to be. But your car, your house, your friends, your hobbies. Those are all within your control.

Here’s an exercise I went through recently in my morning Quiet Time. I had been pondering what my life used to be like. A little nostalgia maybe. And I started wondering about the things that used to be important but simply aren’t important any more. Some of these actually fall into the category of “facts” that used to be true are not true today.

So try this exercise in three parts. To be fair to yourself, you might dedicate three days of Quiet Time to this.

First, make a list of things you believed to be true five years ago. This doesn’t have to be profound. A good way to get started is to think about your day. Look back on your former life. You wake up in your bed and begin your day. Maybe you make coffee, chat with your spouse, get the kids up for school. Whatever it is, write down the things that were true then.

Five years ago my daughter was 15. She didn’t have a drivers license. She was in high school. My house was worth a LOT of money. My monthly income was $_____. My yard was beautiful but a lot of work. I enjoyed my patios almost every day. I had written three books with great difficulty and my speaking business was just starting.

All of those things were true. I believed my house was important. My marriage was important. My daughter’s high school and driving and graduation were things I thought about every day. In my head were many “truths” about who I was, what my life was like, and where the world was going.

I defined myself as a computer consultant. I was also an author and speaker, but those were secondary.

Second, make a list of things you believe today. Maybe the same technique will work. For me, it’s now true that I don’t need to own a house. I don’t need a big stock portfolio. I can write books non-stop (as long as I sit my butt down and write). My daughter is still the center of my life, now 20 and moved out.

My marriage ended quite suddenly. My truth around that today involves accepting that I can be happy without that marriage. That didn’t used to be true. Now it is.

Today I define myself as an author and speaker. I am also a computer consultant, but that is secondary.

Finally, make a list of things you might believe five years from now. Will you believe you’re five years closer to retirement? What will you believe about your self-image, your career, your relationships, and your children?

What will you believe about your money and your success? What will you believe about what you “need” in life to be happy? What will be important to you? What will you care about? What will you believe about friends and family?
Remember, today is simply what “is” at this moment. Truth – reality – will be different in the future. And just like everything else, you can create that future. You can choose what you will believe. You can formulate the reality of your life as it evolves.

Beliefs are not really any different from the other things in your life. A physical thing like a car will age five years and may be replaced in the next five years. And a mental/emotional belief will also age five years, and my be replaced at some point in the next five years.

The primary difference is that physical things can be replaced and be gone. One day you can trade in your old car for a new car. After that moment, the old car is gone and the new car is simply there in your driveway every day.

Emotions and beliefs don’t change that quickly. But they can change just as completely. It might take you a year or more to stop believing in one reality and accept a new reality. Luckily you have experience with this! You used to define yourself as as kid, as a student, as a newbie in the workplace, etc. You have been many people in this lifetime and you will be many more in the future.

Lucky for you, you get to create the new you whenever you want.

Have fun.

:-)

 

No tags

People are interesting creatures. We create an artificial thing called time, divide it into little increments, and then assign meaning to those increments. Today is Leap Year Day. We won’t get to experience February 29th for another four years.

In my book, Relax Focus Succeed, I discuss the topic of looking forward and backward. There, and in seminars, I give the example of five, ten, and fifteen years. Today let’s look at four years.

Consider four years ago – February 29, 2008:

– Where did you live?

– Who did you live with?

– What car did you drive?

– Where did you go to work?

– How old were you? Which milestones have passed since then?

– What was your favorite hobby?

– Who did you spend time with?

– What groups did you belong to?

– Where did you go to church?

– Which books did you read?

– What was your favorite TV show?

– Were you prepared for the financial “crash” in late 2008?

– What was your relationship status (married, single, dating, etc.)?

– What color was your office?

You get the point. Consider all the things that can change. How many things stayed the same? How many are partially the same? How many are very different?

It is often difficult to see the future. Humans have a tough time with changes they don’t create. But look at those questions again and turn them to the future. Where will you live four years from now? What milestones will pass?

On a very personal note, the last four years has been quite a time of upheaval and change in my life. Four years ago I was married and didn’t know it was about to end. In the last four years I passed the 10th anniversary of being diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis.

I also passed the anniversary of my father’s death (at age 50). And I passed the age 50 mark with a strong heart and no worries about my health.

In the last four years my daughter went from 15 to 19, from girl to woman, and from high school to college.

As I look ahead, I see me being better off financially in four years (2008/2009 was not good to me financially).

In four years my daughter will be a college graduate and maybe even in grad school.

In four years I’ll be driving some other kind of car, live in some other house or apartment, and maybe live in a different city.

My plan is to transition into writing more and making more money from speaking engagements. I already make a living at it, but I’m still very involved in a technical consulting business. We’ll see.

– – – – –

Take some time today (or in the next few days) and consider where you’ve been and where you’re going. Place meaning onto this moment in time savor it. Soak it in. And begin building a plan for the future!

:-)

 

No tags

Jan/12

8

Don’t Plant the Tree You See

Awhile back I wandered into a restaurant that was refurbishing their side patio dining area. They were planting a number of palm trees. They had obviously put a lot of money into this project, including the purchase of a dozen good-size palm trees.

Don't Plant The Tree You See

Don't Plant The Tree You See

It really struck me as odd, however, that they planted the trees right up against the walls of the patio area. I mean right up against the wall. It was almost as if the landscaper didn’t know the trees would grow.

I’m sure you’ve seen this too. One time I bought a house and there was a tree planted against the back wall. I knew I had to dig it up before it got large or I’d have it busting through the wall and pushing up against my foundation. On a similar vein, I frequently see trees planted so close together that both of them have stunted growth. They have to share root space and a limited supply of nutrients and water.

To be honest, this article is not about landscaping: It’s about life.

When you look at an idea or an opportunity, do you see the idea or opportunity as it appears in front of you, or as it will be in the years to come? Do you see the new employee as the person in front of you or the person she can become? Do you see your child as the kid in front of you or the man he will become?

I think one of the most powerful forces in the world is a positive mental attitude. And that’s not something that just happens. You have to exercise your PMA just as with any other muscle of success. You have to practice seeing a better future. Practice visualizing what can be.

Trees aren’t the only thing that will change and grow. Everything will change! Your house, your car, your job. Your taste in food, your favorite coffee cup, and the hobbies you take on. Everything changes.

We are comfortable “in the now” because we know what it looks like. When we act on our world, we have a sense of how it will react back to us.

But we need to also look ahead, and look beyond the obvious. Don’t plant the tree you see: Plant the tree it will become. In other words, don’t just look at the world as it is today, but look at what it can – and will – become.

One of the important lessons I learned in creating and growing businesses is that I need to run the business the way I want it to be, not just the way it is. For example, I put in processes and procedures as soon as I can. So even if I only have one employee, I operate with rules and guidelines as if I had five or ten employees. This philosophy can be summarized as “Be the company you want to become.”

If you’ve ever refinished furniture or refurbished anything (toys, houses, collectible signs, etc.), then you know that there’s a skill in seeing what something can become, despite what you see in front of you. Interior designers can see the potential in the room while the rest of us just see the room as it is.

When you get in the habit of seeing potential in all situations and all people, it gives you a certain mental push. For me, it brings a positive spin to things.

What can this opportunity become? What can this relationship become? What can this writing become.

Give it a try!

Plant some trees. But don’t just plant the tree you see.

:-)

No tags

Jul/11

24

How Much of Life is About Control?

I love this passage from Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert:

“We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side-by-side horses — one foot is on the horse called ‘fate,’ the other on the horse called ‘free will.’ And the question you have to ask every day is — which horse is which? Which horse do I need to stop worrying about because it’s not under my control, and which do I need to steer with concentrated effort?”

There are many pieces to this puzzle.

First, there’s the division of what you control and what you don’t control. And even within that, there’s a big piece that you could control if you knew how to control, but you can’t control because you don’t have the skills or self confidence. But still, the big division is between the things in life you might be able to control and those you never will be able to control.

It is worth spending a good deal of quiet time and meditation on the question of control. It takes great wisdom and experience to recognize the parts of life we can’t control. After that, it takes a lifetime to accept the limitations we discover. This isn’t really something you every “achieve.” It’s more like something you come to accept that you will always have to work on.

Second, there’s the question of worrying about those things we can’t control. No matter how much control you want over things, we all tend to worry about parts of our life over which we have no control. Some people see “the world” as being so powerful that they can’t control anything. These folks tend to accept that “stuff” just happens and they need to figure out how to deal with it. Other people try to control as much of the world as they can.

In some cases, this second group probably has a better sense of how much they really can control because they’ve explored the margins of what they influence. At the same time, they probably spend more time worrying about the world they can’t control.

One final note to think about: The world keeps changing. As you grow, have new experiences, and gain new skills, you can influence more of your world than you did before. But world isn’t the same as it was yesterday, last year, or ten years ago.

So, many of the lessons we’ve learned about control are no longer valid. We “know” about a level of control that simply doesn’t apply any more. Like animals walking past an opening in the fence, we stay on the path we know and don’t consider testing limits we’ve tested before.

Consider adding “control” to the list of topics in your daily meditations. It’s amazing how much of the world is different from what our experience has told us. We’ve changed and the world has changed. But our internal thoughts about the world may not have changed.

:-)

 

No tags

Do You Worry Enough? Part 3

This is the third and final installment of the series that started here with “Do You Worry Enough?

Worry brings benefits.  That sounds odd to us.  Let me rephrase it:  Spending time thinking about problems brings good things into our lives.

There are two types of “focusing” on problems.  The first is to open your mind and let the problems flood in.  Perhaps focus is the wrong term.  This is more like out-of-focus.  Sit down with a pencil and paper and relax.  Take a few deep breaths and try to clear your mind.  Think about nothing.  Focus on the way your breath feels moving in and out.

Relax.

If you have things to worry about, they will interrupt your relaxation.  As a “worry” presents itself, write down a brief note (not a long paragraph).  For example, you might write

– College Savings

– Business partner

– Ad revenues

– Etc.

Don’t pass judgment, don’t try to solve the problem, don’t get into details.  Just list your worries.  Set yourself a time a do this listing for ten or fifteen minutes each day for a week.  I guarantee that by day four you will be a lot less worried at night or when you’re concentrating on something else during the day.  Why?  Because your mind has been allowed to spend some time on the things it knows you should be thinking about!

The next step is to focus more clearly on your problems.  For the next several days spend your 10-15 minutes sitting comfortably and “organizing” your problems.  You may want to sort the list into categories such a family, finances, employees, etc.

Then spend a little time writing a bit of detail about each concern.  For example:

I’m worried about college savings for my kids because I’m starting late.  I wonder what college will really cost.  What’s my goal?  How do I get started?  Who can help me?  I need to talk to my spouse about this.

Set yourself a strict limit on this activity.  No more than 30 minutes a day!  You’ll be amazed!  It will give you energy.  Worry will stop draining your energy.  And as you focus on the problem you will naturally break it down into smaller pieces that are much more manageable.

This, in turn, will lead to taking actions that address the problem.  In other words, you’ll be working on a solution!  What you’ve done is to stop spending your energy trying not to worry.  Instead, you are spending a limited amount of energy focusing on issues that need some attention.

Instead of letting “worry” have an unscheduled, unlimited amount of your time, you have allowed a specific amount of time to be used improving your life!

Again, I guarantee that you will see a dramatic reduction in the amount of time spent on unscheduled worry during the day (and night).  Your mind knows that you need to spend time on these activities.  When you allot this time, your mind is more relaxed and it doesn’t need to force these thoughts upon you.

And, even better, when such thoughts pop into your mind now, they will be productive and bring solutions.  The process of focusing on a problem for a specific period and then setting it aside has tremendous power.  It organizes your unconscious mind, which works on possible solutions while you’re doing other things.  And then, seemingly out of nowhere, the solutions come forth into your conscious mind.

Problems never solve themselves:  You need to worry in a healthy way and you will find a solution.  Just as we have to focus on our happiness and our family and our health, we also need to focus on our problems.

You will never be without problems.  But you can be without excessive, unnecessary worry.  Allow yourself time to work on your problems and you’ll have a much more restful mind throughout the day.  Because you’re worrying enough—and not too much.

“Do not anticipate trouble,
or worry about what may never happen.”
— Benjamin Franklin

:-)

No tags

<< Latest posts

Older posts >>

Theme Design by devolux.nh2.me