RFS Blog | by Karl W. Palachuk – Relax Focus Succeed®. Learn more at www.relaxfocussucceed.com.

CAT | Humor

Apr/17

5

Homing Pigeon

I’m starting a new business venture.

I bought a homing pigeon. I sell him on Craigslist.

In a good month, I can sell that bird four times!

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Feb/17

5

Impartial?

Sometimes it’s good to be impartial.

But here’s a question to ponder: Can you ever be totally partial?

… and what would that look like?

:-)

No tags

Jan/17

21

High Class Bar

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Kiwi, a Canuck, an Eskimo, a Fijian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Spaniard, a Mongolian, a Tibetan, a Pollack, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Indian, an Italian, a Brazilian, a Kenyan, a South African, a Filipino, a Pakistani, a Korean, an Argentinean, a Lithuanian, a Dane, a Finn, a Swede, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, a Croat, and a Panamanian go to a fancy bar…

The bouncer says: “Sorry. I can’t let you in without a Thai.”

:-)

No tags

Dec/16

19

What Does Your Dad Do?

Two young kids were talking one day.

“My name is Billy. What’s yours?” asked the first boy.

“Tommy,” replied the second.

“My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?” asked Billy.

Tommy replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.”

“Honest?” asked Billy.

“No, just the regular kind,” replied Tommy.
:-)

No tags

Jul/16

21

Wrong Dry Cleaners?

I may have chosen the wrong dry cleaners.

The sign on their window reads . . .

“35 years on the same spot.”
:-)

No tags

Jun/16

24

Ponderables

What do you do when you find an endangered animal that eats only endangered animals?

 

If you win a lawsuit against a parsley farmer, can you garnish his wages?

 

When you buy styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

 

:-)

No tags

Jun/16

14

Cure for Lip Prints

Here’s an old news story. Not sure if it’s true, but it could be and that’s good enough for me.

 

According to a news report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a strange problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips on the mirror, leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.

She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them their with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors.

He took out a long handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and then cleaned the mirror.

Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirrors.

 

No tags

Jun/16

4

Personnel Director Humor

I asked the personnel director how he got to be successful.

He says he owes it all to hire education.

:-)

 

No tags

May/16

18

Raw Sewage

“Why do they call it raw sewage? Do some people cook that stuff?” – George Carlin

No tags

May/16

7

Correction

The local paper has posted a correction regarding the biography of Ms. Celia Smithers.

She was erroneously identified as a bookmaker.

She is a typesetter.

 

:-)

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